A Week Away

So I'm 7 Days away from the end of the 40 days. Sure we cheated on it...a lot actually, but it's not like it would have changed much otherwise. He's trying to prove himself a lot more lately by doing reckless things for me. He says he's going to call my mother at least, and talk to them about how he feels about me and say he's sorry. I know it'll take a lot from him, but I'm not sure how she'll take it. She took my first confession pretty hard and apparently she had no idea. I thought she had every idea..but whatever, she now knows and so does my father. I just wonder what she thought it was...but what does it matter anyways? She's still slapping me in the face over this whole thing and she always thinks I'm being stupid and stubborn. Chris wants me to date another guy for a short time to show my mother that I'm not like that, I just already know what I want/what's best. I don't know how that's going to work out. I don't think I could handle being fake to that guy whomever it turns out to be because I would still be in love with Chris.

I can't wait till the Disney trip though. I'm so excited to get away to somewhere warm and nice...especially the greatness of Disney. I'm looking at getting either a DS or an iTouch to have something to do on the way down there, but I'm not sure my parents will let me/approve of the purchase.

I just finished the anatomy project and I'm prepared to be laughed at by the entire class. Woo. :/

I love you and I hope your competition went well today,
MC

A Few Things You Have To Do

Well I'm compiling a list of videos you need to watch:
1. Flight of the Conchords (any and all of them)
2. Potter Puppet Pals
3. A Very Potter Musical
I'm still working on the rest.

I love you,
MC

Day 30 and 31

Well he showed up to school. I didn't even notice him until my band director pointed him out. My heart stopped. I started to get chest pains and I could barely stop looking at him. I'm sure he can attest to that. :) We played some of the most beautiful pieces ever today...unfortunately no one liked the song I liked the most, "Cloudburst" by Eric Whitacre. It was so beautiful as a choral arrangment and if we could have pulled it off...AMAZING. He and I hung out after drumline and even though we had a few more rough spots than usual, I had a wonderful time.

Today was awesome. I forgot we were getting out two hours early today because of the race. That made my morning. :) Then the school day went by pretty quickly even though I don't like ending the day with Anatomy...especially when we had to do a lot of work. After the South 500, I drove to Aaron's house to work on the anatomy project. I dumbly parked in the driveway because...well I wasn't thinking. He wasn't even there yet and then whenever I had to back out, I couldn't. I had to get him to move his car first...I didn't get to go to Sonic because it was already 3:30 by the time I left Aaron's. I really wanted to go get a drink, but I figured Mom would see me with it and ask where I got it and she would assume I went to Sonic myself and I would get in trouble because she told me not to drive anywhere else but home, school, and Aaron's.

So I have no plans for tonight other than working on some CD ripping (cross your fingers) and enjoying Mexican Friday if my mom ever gets out of the garden. I really want to go to Warriors tomorrow to run, I just have to ask my mother...and I really hope she lets me go because if tomorrow is anything like today, it will be BEAUTIFUL. Perfect morning for a run.

I hope he ends up okay, I know he was dealing with some really tough stuff, and I can't really be there for him like I want to.

I love you,
MC

Day 29

So I forgot about St. Patty's day...suck. I got pinched twice before I enforced the whole I'll kill you if you pinch me thing.

I'm supposed to go to someone's house tonight for church and it doesn't start until 7.

I realized I have to get started on snare earlier than I expected because I want to beat whoever is on the fall line even though I know that will be incredibly hard. I'll have to talk to Mr. Palmer.

My major is starting to become more established because of my 109 on the muscle quiz in anatomy. Dang, I remembered I have to do my part of the project before Friday. I had better get started.

I think I need to stop eating so much. Or find another hobby. Or it needs to be spring already so I can start exercising.

Shopping would work, but then I would run out of money faster. Which reminds me, I need to get a job...or find one at least for the summer. I can't really have one during the fall because of band.

I'm getting a little lonely, but I'm sacrificing. I'm starting to distance myself from compromising situations so I don't hurt Chris, even though I was reminded of a sore spot yesterday. It sucked a lot. It didn't help that I was already pissed off.

I had better go since I can't text him anymore.

I love you,
MC

Day 28

Lesbians are emotional.

Nothing really happened that much today. I don't want to write much, but I guess I have to say SOMETHING.

Physical therapy is looking good right now. The human body really interests me but no one particular area. I don't know of one that includes all of them without involving treatment for diseases. Diagnosis might be more my speed but I really like the muscular system and being able to work out certain areas of my body and know what I'm doing and what human limits are. It's amazing how much our bodies are capable of.

Gotta go look at prom dress designs. The mother-ward is home.

I love you,
MC

Day 27

So B-rad let me see the real Brad. And let me tell you, he made me care about him. He actually told me the truth because his story contradicted a few former stories he told me. I'm worried. He says he wants to get as close to me as possible before Chris gets home on the 8th, which ironically is prom night according to Brad. He did admit that it is a "dog-eat-dog world" inferring that he did lie about Chris cheating on me, but he doesn't want me to think he's a bad person by admitting he lied. A little immature, but I don't want to set him off.

So today was truly a Monday. And by Monday I mean I officially dubbed Mondays "Makeout Mondays" because I saw at least 3 couples making out in the hallways because they missed each other so much because they couldn't see each other on Sunday because it's holy. Oh and it's also a Monday because it was full of crap. One lab and two quizzes. Both quizzes I was totally unprepared for. I was pretty much full of crap all day today. The only thing that brightened my day were the tapes we listened to during 4th. Cymbals got some good comments, but nothing about our super awesome visuals. We never get any credit. The best part...very beginning, "Did you just say Aztec tacos?...it sounded like tacos".

I really want to see New Moon just because it is still my favorite of the saga...maybe I can get Chris to see it with me. And I really want to go to the park this Saturday if possible. Reminds me of a time when going to the park was sacred and perfect...the water so clean and pure inbetween my feet and toes. I doubt he can remember.

I love you,
MC

Day 25 and 26

More than halfway through this...WOOO!
I can do this...and if I can't call him or text him, I'll have Facebook.
Yesterday we got thrid. I'm happy because we medaled. We still have a lot of work to do and I hope everyone (including me) buckles down. I'm looking through the pictures and I'm really happy with my overall facial expressions at parts. My last one...quite scary. I'm sure the people in the front row peed their pants. No doubt.

I hope he's doing okay, we haven't been able to talk much because he's really busy and of course, I can't call or text him. I hope May 8th comes fast and or he'll try and get on Facebook after Easter.

Brad hasn't given up yet. He wanted to ask me out today and I told him I would say no because I'm with Chris. He said we're really not together and I said we don't want to be with anyone else so why waste our time dating other people? He continues to be relentless. He calls me crazy and he thinks I'm afraid because I know I'll find someone better than Chris....I think he's the crazy one. If I knew I could do better, I wouldn't be with Chris. Or better yet, I don't want anything better, if such a thing exists. I'm sure Brad just can't comprehend someone not wanting him.

I'm strong...fierce. I can handle this immature boy. As long as I don't put Chris and him together, everything will turn out fine.

I love you,
MC
P.S. Look at Mrs. Hogue pictures from the Virginia High competition.
Appreciate your woman being beastly. :)